Recently, I purposed myself that I would start writing at least one piece of writing a day for the foreseeable future. It's not a planned "thing" or some self-improvement mumbo jumbo that I'm gonna tell myself so that it makes me feel better about a grueling task that I feel unfit to do. No, it just is. A goal, a plan of action. Nothing to elevate it beyond some desire to just be productive. I'm trying to keep it as nondescript and insignificant as possible because I don't want to give the monster claws.
I am a serial procrastinator. The monster is perfection. We both make a great team at not getting any work done. Many times I would lay indecisive, flip-floping on the simple decisions that make up the ingredients of a foundation of work that I would be paralyzed by the thought that I would be making a huge mistake choosing perfectly good choice over another perfectly good choice. It's crippling to say the least, making up excuses as to why I shouldn't or can't do something. And the bigger importance I give to any particular work or project, the heavier the burden the monster places on me to get it right.
Which is why I'm planning to starve the monster, the less I second guess myself regarding every decision I make the less the monster gets to feed off my insecurities. So I'm going to ignore it, force myself into a habit of doing something everyday that I needed to do for years but never ran out of excuses not to do. But it is what it is, just writing. Not some feat of majesty that only few ever achieve but a mundane task that many have and many more will do after me.
